Quafrenbim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered slug.

Quafrenbim created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafrenbim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quafrenbim, she will throw large rocks at you.

Quafrenbim's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Quafrenbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. You must never eat corn.

4. Never feed carrots to porpoises while wearing violet trousers.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quafrenbim.