Hakbanbug is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, confident dugong.

Hakbanbug created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Hakbanbug, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hakbanbug, it will send you a sign.

Hakbanbug's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hakbanbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.