Lunstaffedbasscedrip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered dolphin.

Lunstaffedbasscedrip created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Lunstaffedbasscedrip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lunstaffedbasscedrip, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lunstaffedbasscedrip's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lunstaffedbasscedrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Put Lunstaffedbasscedrip first in all things.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lunstaffedbasscedrip.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.