Madtailpon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, compassionate cobra.

Madtailpon created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Madtailpon, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Madtailpon, she will turn you into a tree.

Madtailpon's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Madtailpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near great tits.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Do not kill hamsters.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never pour water over plants.