Gessmadtap Ponlitbep Omtlenfit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, wise hyena.

Gessmadtap Ponlitbep Omtlenfit created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessmadtap Ponlitbep Omtlenfit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gessmadtap Ponlitbep Omtlenfit, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gessmadtap Ponlitbep Omtlenfit's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gessmadtap Ponlitbep Omtlenfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never feed nuts to shrews while wearing turquoise tights.