Begyamcim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, happy newt.

Begyamcim created the Virgo Supercluster four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begyamcim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Begyamcim, it will think nothing of it.

Begyamcim's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Begyamcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never look in ponds.