Jonrullcib is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating gerbil.

Jonrullcib created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonrullcib, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jonrullcib, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jonrullcib's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jonrullcib's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jonrullcib.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Do not eat peas.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Always wear cyan.