Vigsadneg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witless elephant.

Vigsadneg created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigsadneg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vigsadneg, she will make you grow a tail.

Vigsadneg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Vigsadneg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vigsadneg.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not speak about lemons.

5. Always pray immersed in water.