Taphapgedxem is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, conceited mouse.

Taphapgedxem created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Taphapgedxem, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Taphapgedxem, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Taphapgedxem's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Taphapgedxem's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.