Tarpflammob is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, self-assured cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tarpflammob created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Tarpflammob, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tarpflammob, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tarpflammob's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tarpflammob's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

2. Retreat if seven rats approach from the east.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never write about moons.