Fetxuczog is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, strong whale.

Fetxuczog created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetxuczog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fetxuczog, he will turn you into a rat.

Fetxuczog's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fetxuczog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. You must never eat peas.

3. Always look after injured squirrels.

4. Always help sick badgers.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.