Larntincamnur is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate jaguar.

Larntincamnur created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larntincamnur, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Larntincamnur, she will turn you into a dog.

Larntincamnur's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Larntincamnur's Holy Commandments

1. Larntincamnur must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Never laugh near sharks.

5. Do not speak about lemons.