Flatgig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful frog.

Flatgig created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Flatgig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flatgig, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Flatgig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Flatgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat moths with great respect.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not hurt tapirs.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Hide if three monkeys approach from the south.