Nuttipwan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, benevolent swan.

Nuttipwan created Africa six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttipwan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nuttipwan, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nuttipwan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Nuttipwan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Nuttipwan on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never feed aubergines to seals while wearing violet shoes.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never look in ponds.