Gebcetwan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, flying narwhal.

Gebcetwan created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebcetwan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gebcetwan, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Gebcetwan's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gebcetwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention voles.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Gebcetwan on top of important buildings.

5. Run away if four sharks approach from the east.