Natcarfid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident skunk.

Natcarfid created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Natcarfid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Natcarfid, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Natcarfid's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Natcarfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Retreat if five pigs approach from the east.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never feed cucumbers to whales while wearing white shirts.