Bumyatboss Rakgetkan Arfvigstan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witless cat.

Bumyatboss Rakgetkan Arfvigstan created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumyatboss Rakgetkan Arfvigstan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bumyatboss Rakgetkan Arfvigstan, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bumyatboss Rakgetkan Arfvigstan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bumyatboss Rakgetkan Arfvigstan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never pour water over plants.