Vegtiglapnil Sigstipban is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, bad-tempered penguin.

Vegtiglapnil Sigstipban created everything that exists two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegtiglapnil Sigstipban, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vegtiglapnil Sigstipban, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Vegtiglapnil Sigstipban's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Vegtiglapnil Sigstipban's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Put Vegtiglapnil Sigstipban first in all things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never run in holy places.