Loopcusskop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent goblin.

Loopcusskop created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopcusskop, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Loopcusskop, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Loopcusskop's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Loopcusskop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never laugh near snakes.