Negbidmumfot is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, wise dryad.

Negbidmumfot created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negbidmumfot, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Negbidmumfot, it will curse you with boils.

Negbidmumfot's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Negbidmumfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never feed apples to dolphins while wearing purple stockings.

3. You must pray to Negbidmumfot seven times a day.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.