Fligappgut is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, staggering cat.

Fligappgut created humanity four million years ago.

If you believe in Fligappgut, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fligappgut, it will turn you into a mole.

Fligappgut's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Fligappgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fligappgut.

5. Put Fligappgut first in all things.