Cengutjaddavendonraw is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, proud horse.

Cengutjaddavendonraw created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Cengutjaddavendonraw, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cengutjaddavendonraw, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cengutjaddavendonraw's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cengutjaddavendonraw's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cengutjaddavendonraw.

2. Run away if five squirrels approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.