Sakvonkwad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sage lobster.

Sakvonkwad created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakvonkwad, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakvonkwad, she will be very unhappy.

Sakvonkwad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Sakvonkwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ants.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always help sick mites.