Vindaphab Aflamrot is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, narcissistic snail.

Vindaphab Aflamrot created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vindaphab Aflamrot, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vindaphab Aflamrot, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vindaphab Aflamrot's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vindaphab Aflamrot's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not take Vindaphab Aflamrot's name in vain.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Vindaphab Aflamrot loves sharks, so they must be respected.

5. Never wear green coats.