Sagsisbam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind naga.

Sagsisbam created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagsisbam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sagsisbam, he will make you grow a tail.

Sagsisbam's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Sagsisbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention monkeys.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sagsisbam.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.