Bugmumtailfumteengun is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, humane swallow.

Bugmumtailfumteengun created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bugmumtailfumteengun, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bugmumtailfumteengun, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bugmumtailfumteengun's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bugmumtailfumteengun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Bugmumtailfumteengun loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not take Bugmumtailfumteengun's name in vain.

5. Never play with disobedient children.