Zigarmyar Flanbidtun is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, slow swallow.

Zigarmyar Flanbidtun created parasitic wasps six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigarmyar Flanbidtun, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zigarmyar Flanbidtun, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Zigarmyar Flanbidtun's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Zigarmyar Flanbidtun's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Zigarmyar Flanbidtun.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Hide from pink geese for they are unholy.

5. Never run near cats.