Mitkapfud Hugcutpak is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fussy grasshopper.

Mitkapfud Hugcutpak created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitkapfud Hugcutpak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mitkapfud Hugcutpak, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Mitkapfud Hugcutpak's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Mitkapfud Hugcutpak's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must love Mitkapfud Hugcutpak.

5. Do not sing in public.