Hamhensissat is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, uncaring capybara.

Hamhensissat created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamhensissat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hamhensissat, she will throw large rocks at you.

Hamhensissat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hamhensissat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Hamhensissat on top of all buildings.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never laugh in holy places.