Safgatham Bon is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, calm salamander.

Safgatham Bon created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Safgatham Bon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Safgatham Bon, she will strike you with lightening.

Safgatham Bon's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Safgatham Bon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.