Nurlhitvadwitnell is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent dog.

Nurlhitvadwitnell created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlhitvadwitnell, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nurlhitvadwitnell, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nurlhitvadwitnell's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Nurlhitvadwitnell's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Nurlhitvadwitnell loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think ill of sick turtles.

5. Do not kill whales.