Cap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, self-assured chicken.

Cap created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cap, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cap, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never wear black kilts.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not eat limes.