Titzimshavarmwit is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, uncaring tortoise.

Titzimshavarmwit created an electron two billion years ago.

If you believe in Titzimshavarmwit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Titzimshavarmwit, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Titzimshavarmwit's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Titzimshavarmwit's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Titzimshavarmwit.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Worship no other gods but Titzimshavarmwit.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Never think ill of sick doves.