Sawparkcan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, pitiless armadillo.

Sawparkcan created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Sawparkcan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawparkcan, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Sawparkcan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Sawparkcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Do not kill eagles.