Gilvilhakloprapyogyar is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish toad.

Gilvilhakloprapyogyar created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gilvilhakloprapyogyar, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gilvilhakloprapyogyar, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gilvilhakloprapyogyar's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gilvilhakloprapyogyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mites.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about gravity.