Kemkadgem is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, ruthless cobra.

Kemkadgem created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemkadgem, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kemkadgem, it will destroy your home planet.

Kemkadgem's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Kemkadgem's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four aardvarks approach from the north.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.