Saklagtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient crocodile.

Saklagtonk created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saklagtonk, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Saklagtonk, he will be mildly annoyed.

Saklagtonk's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Saklagtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snails.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Do not kill voles.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.