Loopsomstig Vonfutfosstad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-assured spider.

Loopsomstig Vonfutfosstad created the Black Eye Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Loopsomstig Vonfutfosstad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Loopsomstig Vonfutfosstad, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Loopsomstig Vonfutfosstad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Loopsomstig Vonfutfosstad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away if six cats approach from the north.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

5. Never play with disobedient children.