Sakabgen Jipweelamcussfabquart Dussnullag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered wren.

Sakabgen Jipweelamcussfabquart Dussnullag created the Large Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakabgen Jipweelamcussfabquart Dussnullag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sakabgen Jipweelamcussfabquart Dussnullag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Sakabgen Jipweelamcussfabquart Dussnullag's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sakabgen Jipweelamcussfabquart Dussnullag's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Run away if five shrews approach from the south.

3. Never sit near turtles.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Retreat if eight nematodes approach from the west.