Bogfumkad is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful seal.

Bogfumkad created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogfumkad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bogfumkad, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bogfumkad's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bogfumkad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bogfumkad.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.