Quimnellgep is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, blissful coyote.

Quimnellgep created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimnellgep, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quimnellgep, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quimnellgep's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Quimnellgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Quimnellgep on top of important buildings.

3. Never bounce in the presence of dogs.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never jump near mites.