Yaknarthim Camstanstik is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, contented slug.

Yaknarthim Camstanstik created the Milkyway three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yaknarthim Camstanstik, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yaknarthim Camstanstik, he will turn you into a goat.

Yaknarthim Camstanstik's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Yaknarthim Camstanstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always help whales in need.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never paint your head orange.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.