Nurfomhivspagdubyambissarn is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish mole.

Nurfomhivspagdubyambissarn created the Sombrero Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nurfomhivspagdubyambissarn, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nurfomhivspagdubyambissarn, he will destroy your favourite star.

Nurfomhivspagdubyambissarn's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Nurfomhivspagdubyambissarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never run in the presence of manatees.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Do not covet oxen.