Yarpzenxen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, benevolent goblin.

Yarpzenxen created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpzenxen, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarpzenxen, it will jump up and down on your head.

Yarpzenxen's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Yarpzenxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Never feed bread to snails while wearing yellow shoes.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarpzenxen.