Yatyoksig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, overgenerous clam.

Yatyoksig created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatyoksig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yatyoksig, he will remove you from existence.

Yatyoksig's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yatyoksig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt hamsters.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Yatyoksig loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Never sing in the presence of ducks.

5. Never write about asteroids.