Fetflanken is a god.

She takes the form of a small, self-confident troll.

Fetflanken created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fetflanken, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fetflanken, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fetflanken's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fetflanken's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to tortoises while wearing blue stockings.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always look after injured foxes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never look in ponds.