Ontcatboss Gebbuthad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise otter.

Ontcatboss Gebbuthad created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontcatboss Gebbuthad, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontcatboss Gebbuthad, it will laugh at you.

Ontcatboss Gebbuthad's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Ontcatboss Gebbuthad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ontcatboss Gebbuthad.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. Ontcatboss Gebbuthad loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.