Vidjapdog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring crab.

Vidjapdog created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vidjapdog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vidjapdog, he will turn you into a mole.

Vidjapdog's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Vidjapdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Vidjapdog on top of important buildings.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Vidjapdog loves turtles, so they must be honoured.