Yatwongod is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, happy cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yatwongod created gold five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatwongod, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yatwongod, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Yatwongod's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Yatwongod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Yatwongod on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

5. Never wear blue shorts.