Nullpanglig Sabrillib is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, grumpy walrus.

Nullpanglig Sabrillib created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nullpanglig Sabrillib, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nullpanglig Sabrillib, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nullpanglig Sabrillib's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nullpanglig Sabrillib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

2. You must never eat grapes.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.